I had vagina surgery - and I was naked and helpless

If you have surgery or are otherwise disabled, you have to rely on others to take care of you. That can be hard if you’re not someone that accepts help easily. I hardly ever ask for help with anything. I am not sure why I’m so uncomfortable with it. It might be partially because I hate to be a burden on other people, and partially because I prefer to work alone and do things my way. When I had to rely on someone else for every little thing, it wasn’t easy. I felt so needy and had to keep reminding myself that my mom and my friends had offered their help and I would’ve done the same for them.

I feel like gynecological surgery is different than other types of surgery. If you get a knee replacement, for example, you need help with everything because you’re immobile and on pain medication, but at least you’re dressed! After my vestibulectomy, I have a few unusual personal records:

9 days completely bottomless

1 week laying down in bed

2 weeks without leaving the house

6 weeks wearing baggy sweatpants

9 weeks without wearing jeans

My mom came and took care of me for the first week and I think she was in for a little more than she expected. For the first week after my surgery, I laid on a doggy pee pad in a nightgown or big tee shirt with ice packs on my vulva. My mom made all my food (and was nice enough to fill my freezer with more). She brought me new ice packs constantly. She helped me get up every time I had to go the bathroom or take a sitz bath. She made the sitz baths and stood there watching me and controlling the water flow. She spent a lot of time laying next to me watching Netflix. When I didn’t need something, she passed the time by cleaning out my closet and my husbands closet.

Needless to say, my mom saw everything. All the time. And she was really cool about it. There’s a level of trust you need to have with the person that is going to take care of you, especially if you are going to be half naked, and I’m so grateful that my mom was able and willing to be that for me.

My favorite quote from my mom while she took care of me is

“You have dried blood in your butt crack.”

You need someone who is going to tell you when you have blood in your butt crack, am I right?? And I needed a laugh, so I especially appreciated it.

In the next few weeks, I was still laying in bed all the time, but I was at least dressed. I had three friends come stay with me for a few days each. They were all so sweet to take time off work, and drive many hours to come take care of me. They brought me ice, helped me get up, drove me around, made me food, and kept me company. My friend that came the earliest even brought a bathing suit in case I needed help in the shower - how sweet is that? I’m so blessed to have good friends and family, and I hope you also have a support system in place for your recovery! It’s important for the long term success of your surgery, because the more you can take it easy, the less scar tissue you’ll have.